Scandal (1989) Scandal at least has a point of view; Dr Stephen Ward, as played by John Hurt, was done a terrible wrong when he was scapegoated and hung out to dry. Unfortunately, like most of debut-director Michael Caton-Jones’ subsequent films, it desperately lacks dramatic tension. The picture, an early collaboration between Palace and Miramax, had all the makings of a major hit, and the publicity and controversy surrounding it suggested such success would be a fait accompli. Scandal did decent business, but not event movie business; this was no Chariots of Fire or even the same year’s Shirley
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The Russia House (1990) The Russia House was greeted with public and critical indifference when it arrived in 1990. It isn’t too difficult to see why. Topical movies often fail to catch a wave that has already been well surfed by the news media. Why would anyone go out to watch a fiction version too (see also the numerous War on Terror themed films of the past decade plus)? Particularly when it’s packaged in a thriller that doesn’t really thrill (and the intrigue is mild at best) and a romance that entirely fizzles. Fred Schepsi’s adaptation of John Le Carré’s
The Private Life of Sherlock Holmes (1970) Billy Wilder’s Holmes send-up is often attributed the status of a mutilated masterpiece that would be held aloft as an unalloyed classic, were it only possible to lay hands upon those missing scenes. The truth is rather less enticing, I feel. Rather, The Private Life of Sherlock Holmes, as the title suggests, plunders the most obvious and unrewarding area of Baker Street tattle, the kind of fascination with its subject nursed by baser creatures seeking to besmirch classic figures (see nu-Who and, obviously the Steven Moffat and Mark Gatiss iteration Sherlock). To
The Osterman Weekend (1983) One thing I’ll give Robert Ludlum is titles. As much as they’re resolutely formulaic, they’ve also innately memorable (at least, his first couple of decades’ worth). Titles – in rude contrast to titties – meant nothing to Sam Peckinpah, less still Ludlum’s novel, which he purportedly considered trash. Sam just wanted to get back in the moviemaking saddle, ailing and deemed an unsafe bet as he was by this point. So he willingly hitched his wagon to unsafe producers and (in his view) an unsafe script, and the results were promptly dismissed by critics, with
Black Widow (2021) To suggest the MCU largely comprises a production line in which homogeneity is key is stating the obvious, but that hasn’t prevented it from occasionally coming up with something sufficiently distinctive to merit praise. Nor has it, for the most part, detracted from the series being largely watchable, if also largely undemanding. It may have suffered exits of those insufficiently on board with its general directive – Edgar Wright, more recently Scott Derrickson – but it’s also been quite rare for the formulaic nature of Kevin Feige’s visions to get in the way of a serviceably
The English Patient (1996) I like The English Patient. In contrast to Elaine Benes. I’m more likely to concur with Seinfeld’s disrespectful attitude to Schindler’s List, actually. Any movie sacred cow is game for assault, of course, although Seinfeld granting permission to voice loathing for this one seems particularly unwarranted. The pantheon of lousy Oscar winners more deserving of opprobrium is immense; the winners either side of The English Patient, for example. But yes, I can see that some would find it boring. I can see some would find a David Lean film boring too, with which this is commonly identified. In places, Anthony Minghella
Marathon Man (1976) Marathon Man’s one of those movies where the deficiencies become less easy to ignore the more times you see it. On first viewing, it’s an absorbing, visceral thriller with smart twists and occasionally surprising turns, lent a degree of conviction somewhat at odds with its Nazi war criminal on-the-loose mythos (for more of that, see The Boys from Brazil a couple of years later). There are various disagreements on record with regard to the better course of key production decisions, mostly based on screenwriter William Goldman being unimpressed with changes made by director John Schlesinger in concert with
The Mouse on the Moon (1963) Amiable sequel to an amiably underpowered original. And that, despite the presence of frequent powerhouse Peter Sellers in three roles. This time, he’s conspicuously absent and replaced actually or effectively by Margaret Rutherford, Ron Moody and Bernard Cribbins. All of whom are absolutely funny, but the real pep that makes The Mouse on the Moon an improvement on The Mouse that Roared is a frequently sharp-ish Michael Pertwee screenplay and a more energetic approach from director Richard Lester (making his feature debut-ish, if you choose to discount jazz festival performer parade It’s Trad, Dad!) Bracewell: We are the joint
Topaz (1969) Torn Curtain was rocky going, a mostly-at-sea Hitchcock vehicle despite inhabiting the spy/thriller genre that made him famous. His follow up, Topaz, however, proved so deficient, it makes Torn Curtain resemble classic-era Hitch by comparison. An interminably dull thriller based around the Cuban Missile Crisis, it finding the director returning to a propaganda picture arena not really seen since his World War II features. The difference with Topaz being, it’s fairly difficult to feed audiences views if they’ve fallen asleep. Deveraux: I’ve got to see what the Russians are up to in Cuba! Hitchcock was adapting Leon Uris’ best-selling 1967 novel of the same
Torn Curtain (1965) Torn Curtain boasts a scene, about forty minutes in, that is every bit as proficient and startling as the Psycho shower scene. Unfortunately, in contrast to Psycho, the rest of the movie is a dog: a bog-standard Cold War spy affair, complete with miscast leads, a frequently flagrant disregard for verisimilitude and a rote and at times entirely inappropriate score. In the latter department, it seems studio interference led to Hitchcock rejecting Bernard Herrmann’s contribution and thus their falling out. He had also lost his regular cinematographer and editor. No sooner had Hitch reinvented himself for a new generation, first Marnie and
Our Man in Marrakesh aka Bang! Bang! You’re Dead (1966) I hadn’t seen this one in more than three decades, and I had in mind that it was a decent spy spoof, well populated with a selection of stalwart British character actors in supporting roles. Well, I had the last bit right. I wasn’t aware this came from the stable of producer Harry Alan Towers, less still of his pedigree, or lack thereof, as a sort of British Roger Corman (he tried his hand at Star Wars with The Shape of Things to Come and Conan the Barbarian with Gor, for example). More legitimately, if you
North by Northwest (1959) North by Northwest gets a lot of attention as a progenitor of the Bond formula, but that’s giving it far too little credit. Really, it’s the first modern blockbuster, paving the way for hundreds of slipshod, loosely plotted action movies built around set pieces rather than expertly devised narratives. That it delivers, and delivers so effortlessly, is a testament to Hitchcock, to writer Ernest Lehmann, and to a cast who make the entire implausible exercise such a delight. Hitchcock would come up with ideas he wanted to include in Lehman’s “ultimate Hitchcock film” – a chase across Mount
The Avengers (1998) The 1990s witnessed a slew of attempts at rebooting old properties, from comic book fare to movies to big screen versions of much-loved television shows. With generally mixed-negative results. The likes of The Saint (1997), The Phantom (1996), The Shadow (1994) and Doctor Who (as a 1996 TV movie) predominated over rare successes like Mission: Impossible (1996), Blade (1998), Pierce Brosnan’s Bond and Batman (okay, the first was 1989). In most cases, the problems stemmed from an intention to refashion those characters or premises in the image of another existing hit, in the process capturing little of what made the material so compelling/popular in the first place. It’s possible that the bare
Sabotage aka The Woman Alone (1936) Hitchcock adapts Joseph Conrad (The Secret Agent) in another fruitful collaboration with playwright and screenwriter Charles Bennett. The result is shorn of any overt political leanings – Oscar Homolka’s cinema owner is acting for an unknown foreign power with undefined goals – thus making all the more room for the director to crank up Sabotage‘s suspense of suspicion, concealed identity and, in the shocking centrepiece, whether and where and when a bomb will go off. Hitch claimed to be dissatisfied with the result, although one might argue he was prepped to be negative by
Secret Agent (1936) John Gielgud, dashing (romantic) leading man? I’m unclear how many times Gielgud took the main protagonist role in earlier pictures – four, maybe? – but from the 1950s onwards, he’s chiefly known for his supporting turns. Which makes Secret Agent something of a rarity. As for Hitchcock, this finds him settling comfortably into the standard thriller format and is, relatively speaking, a lesser picture. Hitchcock pointed to a series of what he saw as failings in Secret Agent, although at least some of those make it a more interesting picture than it otherwise would have been: “in an adventure
The 39 Steps (1935) Hitch’s gamechanger and still one of the most purely enjoyable pictures in his oeuvre. Much of that, beyond simply telling a breathless narrative with endless invention and style, is The 39 Steps‘ pitch-perfect casting; he’d rarely be quite as lucky again with both his leads. Of course, The 39 Steps gets all the attention, despite honing the elements established by the previous year’s The Man Who Knew Too Much; that’s probably because it does so in a yet lighter and frothier manner. Consequently, it cemented the thriller as the director’s synonymous genre, along with all the ingredients – mostly in the
The Jigsaw Man (1983) Michael Caine’s ’80s career increasingly looks much more respectable when set against the “really will do any old shit” latter-day approaches of John Travolta, Nicolas Cage, Bruce Willis and John Cusack. In particular, his recourse to Cold War thrillers when all else failed and he was at a loose end for more than five minutes is now surrounded by a rather nostalgic, muggy grey hue. That doesn’t make The Jigsaw Man remotely any good, occupying as it does the bargain bin of even that spy thriller sub-genre, but it does have its incidental pleasures. The prospect of
The Avengers 6.21: The Interrogators After the dual-role disappointment of 5.10: Never, Never Say Die, the show finally does right by Christopher Lee in the role of Colonel Mannering (!), “Head of Interdepartmental Security”, operating a beast of all scams on the intelligence network. It’s a seriously-inclined episode from Richard Harris, rewritten by Brian Clemens (and directed by Charles Crichton), but with just enough of the eccentric to add flavour. Mannering: Oh, forgive me. Lieutenant, would you care for a cup of tea? Casper: Ah, thank you, sir. Mannering: Milk and sugar? Casper: No sugar. Mannering: No sugar. If there’s a flaw, it’s that Minnow
The Spy Who Dumped Me (2018) “Spy Who…” movies have a reasonably solid historic pedigree (yes, I’m including the Austin Powers one), but that title talisman does little for The Spy Who Dumped Me, attempting as it does to run with the tried-and-tested baton of unexceptional types thrown into a fantastic narrative. It’s one that can be found in everything from The Man Who Knew Too Much to The Man Who Knew Too Little to Condorman and your average Wilder/Pryor vehicle. On this evidence, though, director Susan Fogel is a better action director than she is a dab hand at comedy (before you call me out by pointing
Billion Dollar Brain (1967) A reluctant Ken Russell at least ensures this final Harry Palmer assignment – well, until the ’90s anyway, if we really must go there – looks good. Crucially, however, it’s all but devoid of internal tension, except momentarily when Harry experiences an altercation or two with a couple of heavies. Which invariably leads to a ream of exposition from his captor; this is about as far from an espionage investigation or mystery begging to be solved as it gets; while the Bond comparisons batted its way are slightly unfair, Billion Dollar Brain does support a similarly incidental
Funeral in Berlin (1966) A serviceable follow-up to The Ipcress File, but conclusive evidence that it wasn’t Michael Caine’s insolent performance as Harry Palmer alone – “You really work on the insubordinate bit, don’t you?” – that made it special. With Sydney J Furie conspicuously absent (Harry Salzman very much did not ask him to return), the directorial reins were passed to reliable go-to-Guy Hamilton (Goldfinger). While Otto Heller returns as cinematographer, painting a suitably drab, austere Berlin, Bond editor Peter Hunt is absent, and so is the indelible score (Konrad Efers replaces John Barry). Gone too are the pep and verve.
The Ipcress File (1965) It’s ironic that Harry Palmer is seen as the down-at-heel, scruffy sibling of James Bond (from then Bond co-producer Harry Saltzman) – the anti-Bond as Variety put it. Because, in The Ipcress File at least, the drab London scenery and non-descript interiors may offer none of the opulence that comes with grand sets and villainous lairs, but it’s visually more stylish than any Bond movie (legendary Bond designer Ken Adam was nevertheless on hand to offer verisimilitude – he won the BAFTA over the also-nominated Goldfinger and “Cubby wouldn’t talk to me for the rest of the day”). Michael Caine’s career-making
The Avengers 6.12: Super Secret Cypher Snatch More idyllic location filming in this one, most notably in the form of Mother’s temporary base in a field, as second-unit man John Hough graduates to main man and provides a wealth of striking visuals. Not enough, unfortunately, to make a silk purse from Tony Williamson’s rather uninspired teleplay (Williamson’s prior contributions to the show included the high of 4.6: Too Many Christmas Trees and the low of 5.23: The Positive-Negative Man). Hough would go on to direct three more episodes (and a New Avengers) as well as embarking an interesting big-screen career (such pictures as Twins
The Avengers 6.5: Get-A-Way Another very SF story, and another that recalls earlier stories, in this case 5.5: The See-Through Man. I that one, Steed states baldly “I don’t believe in invisible men”. He was right there, but he’d have to eat his bowler here. Or half of it, anyway. The intrigue of Get-A-Way derives from the question of how it is that Eastern Bloc spies have escaped their incarceration, since it isn’t immediately announced that a “magic potion” is responsible. And if that reveal isn’t terribly convincing, Peter Bowles makes the most of his latest guest spot as Steed’s self-appointed nemesis
The Avengers 6.3: The Curious Case of the Countless Clues Like Invasion of the Earthmen, this is a John Bryce-produced episode. And like Invasion of the Earthmen, it’s rather underrated. The Curious Cast of the Countless Clues includes its own heightened element amid the seriousness in the shape of Sir Arthur Doyle (Peter Jones, the Voice of the Book, of course, and previously Dr Adams in 4.17: The Thirteenth Hole), and a plot that plays out like a rather more feasible version of 5.21: You Have Just Been Murdered, also written by Philip Levene. In this one, a couple of enterprisingly disreputable types, Gardiner (Kenneth
The Avengers Season 3 Ranked – Worst to Best Season Three is where The Avengers settles into its best-known form – okay, The Grandeur that was Rome aside, there’s nothing really pushing it towards the eccentric heights it would reach in the Rigg era – in no small part due to the permanent partnering of Honor Blackman with Patrick Macnee. It may not be as polished as the subsequent incarnations, but it has the appeal of actively exploring its boundaries, and probably edges out Season Five in the rankings, which rather started to believe its own hype. The White Elephant Steed’s yoga, comprising watching a
The Avengers Seasons 1 & 2 Ranked – Worst to Best I didn’t get around to providing a worst-to-best ranking of the first three seasons when I revisited through them, so this is to remedy that. Obviously, there’s a slim surviving selection from Season One, but I opted not to include it with Two. Both represent a show gradually finding its direction, first with the pairing of Keel and Steed, the gradual evolution of the latter from mysterious hard guy to the laidback toff we know, and then the patchy partnering with King and Venus before the groundwork for The
The Avengers 5.24: Mission… Highly Improbable With a title riffing on a then-riding-high US spy show, just as the previous season’s The Girl from Auntie riffed on a then-riding-high US spy show, it’s to their credit that neither have even the remotest connection to their “inspirations”. Besides the cheap gags (in this case, the episode was based on a teleplay submitted back in 1964). Mission… Highly Improbable follows in the increasing tradition (certainly with the advent of Season Five and colour) of SF plotlines, but is also, in its particular problem with shrinkage, informed by other recent adventurers into that area. Doctor Who went
The Avengers 5.9: The Correct Way to Kill You wouldn’t get away with this kind of thing today. The Correct Way to Kill is an undisguised remake of third-season episode The Charmers, right down to its choicer dialogue. Looking at them side by side is neither revealing as a shot-for-shot exercise (Gus van Sant’s Psycho), nor for the changes resulting from a switch to colour and upping the budget (The Man Who Knew Too Much, although there were additional substantial changes there, of course). Instead, both versions have their positives and negatives, but for me, this new one never quite manages
The Avengers 1.20: Tunnel of Fear As Alan Hayes observes (in the booklet accompanying the DVD release of this recently discovered Season One episode), there’s a more than passing kitchen-sink element to Tunnel of Fear. You could almost expect it to form the basis of a Public Eye case, rather than one in which Steed and Dr Keel get involved, were it not for the necessary paraphernalia of secrets being circulated via a circus fairground. Also rather upsetting the show’s later assured form, Patrick Macnee may have been an easy scene stealer from Ian Hendry in The Frighteners, but I’m not sure he’s
Red Sparrow (2018) The biggest talking point in the wake of Red Sparrow’s release isn’t the movie itself. Rather, it’s whether or not J-Law is a bona fide box office draw. The answer is fairly mundane: about as much as any other big-name star outside of a franchise vehicle is. Which isn’t very much. Peg her alongside Dwayne Johnson, Vin Diesel, Tom Cruise and, on the lower end of the scale, the eternally-struggling-for-an-audience-when-not-Thor Chris Hemsworth. The movie itself, then? While it replicates the stride and demeanour of a traditional Cold War spy yarn with assuredness (as in, it’s a conscious throwback), Red
Salt (2010) (Director’s Cut) Not so many years back, if you wanted a kickass female action hero, you called popular alleged Illuminati Satanist Angelina Jolie’s agent before Charlize Theron’s. She was Lara Croft – the big screen original, for what that’s worth (not much) – met Brad Pitt while trying to shoot him up, and tutored James McAvoy in the ways of the super assassin. Salt was the last such vehicle she headlined and seems to have received its share of invective over the years. However, it’s one I rather liked, a ludicrously pulpy spy thriller – whatever surface comparisons
The Holcroft Covenant (1985) There’s something oddly comforting about 1980s Michael Caine spy thrillers, not because they are any good – most aren’t – but due to his sheer reliability in simply showing up, baring his teeth at some point while grimly enraged, and generally behaving as if he’s still a viable lead in such fare. Caine came on board The Holcroft Covenant late in the day after James Caan fell out, and it might have seemed, at first glance, to possess a very faintly promising pedigree. An admittedly past-his-prime John Frankenheimer was helming. The source was a Robert Ludlum novel
Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince (2009) I get the impression this sixth instalment might not be the most obviously crowd-pleasing one in the Potter-sphere – among fans, rather than critics – but my second visit only reconfirms it as up there in the top tier. Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince is certainly atypical, eschewing action for the most part (there are a couple of quidditch interludes, but they’re almost apologetic) and showing a keen aptitude for something the series has previous shown inconsistency towards: intrigue. For much of the running time, this is more like a spy movie – of
The Avengers 2.24: A Sense of History Another gem, A Sense of History features one of the series’ very best villains in Patrick Mower’s belligerent, sneering student Duboys. Steed and Mrs Peel arrive at St Bode’s College investigating murder most cloistered, and the author of a politically sensitive theoretical document, in Martin Woodhouse’s final, and best, teleplay for the show (other notables include Mr. Teddy Bear and The Wringer). If you cast your eye over reviews of the series, positions seem to be about as varied as the number of episodes (Avengers Forever and dissolute.com are in stark disagreement on this one, for example).
The Avengers 4.19: Quick-Quick Slow Death Coming straight after The Girl from Auntie, it’s impossible to ignore the similar “villains cover their tracks by whacking wacky eccentrics” structure, but since I’m a sucker for such Avengers tales, it scarcely matters. Robert Banks Stewarts writes, but particular laurels are due James Hill for his deft touch during the musical climax. The episode’s main thrust concerns a dance school “for infiltrating foreign agents into the country”, in which the students are offed and replaced with trained operatives. This eventually explains the dual Arthur Peevers, the one found dead in the teaser, in a pram
The Avengers 4.9: Room Without a View If The Gravediggers’ eccentricity feels entirely natural, Room Without a View’s seems plastered onto a standard issue spy plot, one that wastes the talents of the majority of its cast and leaves Steed polishing off the best table leavings. Even the premise of Roger Marshall’s teleplay is the sort of thing we’ve heard every other week, with seven physicists having disappeared “over the past year or so”, accompanied by then-topical references to the Brain Drain. One of boffins has resurfaced, though, Dr Wadkin (Peter Madden, coming on like Father Jack), who “suddenly popped up
The Avengers 4.3: The Master Minds The Master Minds hitches its wagon to the not uncommon Avengers trope of dark deeds done under the veil of night. We previously encountered it in The Town of No Return, but Robert Banks Stewart (best known for Bergerac, but best known genre-wise for his two Tom Baker Doctor Who stories; likewise, he also penned only two teleplays for The Avengers) makes this episode more distinctive, with its mind control and spycraft, while Peter Graham Scott, in his third contribution to the show on the trot, pulls out all the stops, particularly with a highly creative climactic fight sequence that avoids
Atomic Blonde (2017) Well, I can certainly see why Focus Features opted to change the title from The Coldest City (the name of the graphic novel from which this is adapted). The Coldest City evokes a noirish, dour, subdued tone, a movie of slow-burn intrigue in the vein of John Le Carré. Atomic Blonde, to paraphrase its introductory text, is not that movie. As such, there’s something of a mismatch here, of the kind of Cold War tale it has its roots in, and the furious, pop-soaked action spectacle director David Leitch is intent on turning it into. In the main, his choices succeed,
The Avengers 4.1: The Town of No Return The Avengers as most of us know it (but not in colour) arrives fully-fledged in The Town of No Return: glossier, more eccentric, more heightened, camper, more knowing and more playful. It marks the beginning of slumming it film directors coming on board (Roy Ward Baker) and sees Brian Clemens marking out the future template. And the Steed and Mrs Peel relationship is fully established from the off (albeit, this both was and wasn’t the first episode filmed). If the Steed and Cathy Gale chemistry relied on him being impertinently suggestive, Steed and Emma
One of Our Dinosaurs is Missing (1975) There’s no getting round the dinosaur skeleton in the room here: yellow face. From the illustrious writer-director team who brought us Mary Poppins, no less. Disney’s cheerfully racist family movie belongs to a bygone era, but appreciating its merits doesn’t necessarily requires one to subscribe to the Bernard Manning school of ethnic sensitivity. I’m not going to defend the choice, but, if you can get past that, and that may well be a big if, particularly Bernard Bresslaw’s Fan Choy – if anything’s an unwelcome reminder of the Carry Ons lesser qualities, it’s Bresslaw
Allied (2016) Just what is it that attracts Robert Zemeckis to a movie? Now that his prospects for creating entirely unasked for virtual landscapes have decisively dimmed, that is? The chance to work with accomplished, Oscar-winning or nominated actors on distinguished screenplays delving into intricate and rewarding subject matter? Or the opportunity to ransack the material, seeking some kernel or glimmer of a reason to justify further elaborate experimentation with some new technical trickery he has set his sights on this time? Yes, it’s the latter. Allied is a Notorious-esque WWII tale of romantically-entangled spies and the suspicions that arise, not so
The Avengers 3.24: Esprit de Corps If the final Cathy Gale outing doesn’t make for the most indelible departing shot, this penultimate instalment is one that can stand proud. Although, while Cathy has a decent role (as the next in line to the Stuart throne, no less), it’s Steed who wins the best plot line, paired with the wonderful Roy Kinnear and presented to a firing squad. Kinnear would show up three more times, including in the series finale, a sign that they were fond of a certain kind of comic turn that underlined the show’s inimitability (see also
The Avengers 3.24: The Charmers Steed’s identification as the perfect gentleman has been a gradual process for the show, although it may now seem it was never anything but. Signposts on the way include the in-awe butler of The Gilded Cage, but The Charmers fashions probably his most legendary representation to this point, in a Brian Clemens script, as he visits a charm school for killers and is instantly recognised as the peak of the proper. This is also Warren Mitchell’s second appearance, as Russian boss Keller. His very broad appearances as Brodny would be forthcoming, something of The Avengers equivalent of Harry Mudd,
The Avengers 3.17: The White Elephant The temptation is to say John Lucarotti sold us one, here, so I’ll resist. A real bore, unfortunately, with none of the nascent elements (eccentric characters, unlikely scenarios, curious businesses) amounting to anything interesting, as Steed and Mrs Gale investigate the disappearance of the titular pachyderm. Most indicatively, Steed watching a daffodil grow (he’s practicing yoga, it seems; “It’s a very good method of improving the concentration”) is much more engaging than the plot proper, in which he once again puts Cathy undercover (as resident zoological director) and in danger at Noah’s Ark
The Avengers 3.14: The Secrets Broker Wine seems to go down quite well in The Avengers (2.11 Death of a Great Dane, in which Cathy gets a bit blotto), and if The Secrets Broker isn’t quite of that vintage, it does involve a winning ruse (spiritualist séances as a cover for the passing of secrets) and several first-rate performances, from Patricia English, Avice Landone and the inimitable, irrepressible Jack May. Steed: I’m, uh, going to a wine tasting party. Cathy: Do you really think you’ve got the palate? May is Waller, the ringleader, but the group’s steeliest and most imperious member is Landone’s Mrs Wilson, effortlessly
The Avengers 3.11: Build a Better Mousetrap This really oughtn’t to work, seeing as it finds The Avengers flirting with youth culture, well outside its comfort zone, and more precisely with a carefree biker gang who just want to have a good time and dance to funky music in a barn all night long. Not like the squares. Not like John Steed… who promptly brings them on side and sends them off on a treasure hunt! Add into the mix couple of dotty old dears in a windmill– maybewitches – up to who knows what, and you have very much the
The Avengers 3.1: Concerto Terrance Dicks and Malcolm Hulke deliver a run-of-the-mill spy romp, distinguished mainly by how ludicrous the villain’s final gambit is. However, Concerto is somewhat salvaged by a surprisingly fun turn from Nigel Stock as Zalenko, a Russian opposite number to Steed. It’s a good thing Stock is having a good time, as his accent is pretty pokey. At first, it appears as if Zalenko will merely be a buffoonish incompetent (which wouldn’t be a surprise given Stock’s form, playing Watson to Peter Cushing’s Holmes, a particularly ineffectual Number Six in The Prisoner, and, of course, Mr Pickwick) as
Our Kind of Traitor (2016) In which a poetry teacher with a hitherto untapped capacity for derring-do takes up arms against a sea of Russian mobsters, and by opposing ends (some of) them. Our Kind of Traitor, the latest John Le Carré adaptation derives from of one of his later novels (first published in 2010), and one gets a sense that, the further the author strays from first-hand knowledge and experience, the less effective his yarn spinning becomes. Certainly, tackling the War on Terror in A Most Wanted Man made for a well-mounted but rather passé picture. In contrast. The sophisticated arms dealer
True Lies (1994) James Cameron might not quite yet have been King of the World in 1994, but he was definitely King of Science Fiction Cinema. Terminator 2: Judgement Day had become the biggest movie of 1991 worldwide (luckily for Carolco, which bet the bank on it), and consequently he could do anything he wanted next. And what he wanted to do was mystifying. Perhaps it stemmed from an attempt to show his “range” (after all, his next non-genre offering nabbed him the coveted Best Picture Oscar), but a remake of obscure French movie La Totale!, a spy comedy that allowed Cameron
Horror Express (1972) This berserk Spanish/British horror boasts Hammer titans Christopher Lee and Peter Cushing (both as good guys!) to its name, and cloaked in period trappings (it’s set in 1906), suggests a fairly standard supernatural horror, one with crazy priests and satanic beasts. But, with an alien life form aboard the Trans-Siberian Express bound for Moscow, Horror Express finishes up more akin to The Cassandra Crossing meets The Thing. Countess Petrovski: The czar will hear of this. I’ll have you sent to Siberia. Captain Kazan: I am in Siberia! Christopher Lee’s Alexander Saxton, anthropologist and professor of the Royal Geological Society, has retrieved a frozen
The Avengers 2.23: Conspiracy of Silence Closer to a conspiracy of slumber, as some clown tries to kill Steed, but not in a remotely entertaining fashion. He doesn’t even pratfall. One might suggest this is a significant turning point for the show, with (one of) the lead now sufficiently iconic that an episode can revolve around this fact, but the truth is considerably more mundane, as Cathy is called upon to pose as a journalist (a common cover for her) and investigate not-terribly-interesting goings-on, amounting to a Conspiracy of Silence, beneath a big top. The Italian Mafia want Steed dead
The Avengers 2.19: School for Traitors Just when you thought all Venus Smith stories were faintly rubbish, a good one comes along, albeit our gorgeous chanteuse is just as daffy as ever, oblivious or indifferent to Steed dropping her in it at every turn. It might not be up there with the excellent fourth season A Sense of History, also set at a university, but School for Traitors makes engaging use of its fertile setting for spy yarns. Steed: If he was murdered he wouldn’t have time to write to you, would he? Venus: But he didn’t write to me. Steed: Precisely. Steed
Spy (2015) (Extended Cut) Paul Feig labours under the curse of Apatow. I don’t mean his penchant for orifice humour, although that is abundant, but rather the illusion that the perfect length for a comedy is no less than two hours. There’s a very funny movie lurking within Spy, but it’s definitely no more than 100 minutes long. Which is half an hour longer than the extended cut. One of the raft of 2015 espionage movies, Spy brandishes a better Bond theme than the actual Bond movie and, in Jude Law, someone with a suavity Daniel Craig lacks (this was also true of the main players
Bridge of Spies (2015) I’ve grown rather used to solid rather than spectacular Steven Spielberg fare of late, the consequence of a consummate craftsman who can never quite resist the urge to impress base sentiment on material that needs less, not more, of his predilections. As such, Bridge of Spies is a near miss, frequently gripping and engrossing but resistant to a chillier, more distanced approach that might have benefited its fact-based, Cold War setting. The director’s last unqualified successes came with back-to-back 2002 pictures Minority Report and Catch Me If You Can. Since then he has made several movies (notably the also fact-based Munich and Lincoln)
Penguins of Madagascar (2014) You’d think DreamWorks would have realised they can rely on formulaic animated sequels for only so long before they have to come up with something new, but no. Instead, their approach of milking properties until they run dry, and then milking them some more, has blighted other studios’ approach (Pixar is spinning off sequels to pretty much anything that can carry them, Universal has Despicable Me, Fox/Blue Sky is looking forward to Ice Age 11). There’s surely a point when even “indiscriminating” kids are going to realise they’re being had, though. DreamWorks probably thought they had an easy win
The Avengers 2.5: Propellant 23 With a title that invokes Robert Anton Wilson’s most celebrated of occult numbers, one might have expected dark dabbling to ensue. But Propellant 23 is a remarkably low-key affair, its action revolving around a Marseilles airport and Steed and Cathy’s quest for a flask of Chinese rocket fuel. The plot is propelled by who will get their hands on said item first, since the man (Meyer, played by Frederick Schiller) carrying the flask dies of a (suspected) heart attack on arriving at the airport. As a result, the various parties engage in some fairly clumsy
Star Cops 2. Conversations with the Dead Boucher announces his clever premise – and it is a clever premise – with a bit too much gusto here, as Spring has to ask Theroux to explain himself when he announces a murder investigation into two still living crew of a freighter that has plunged off course; they have limited life support and no fuel left to correct course, so they are “technically dead”. The conclusion isn’t quite so satisfying for either this case or the demise of Nathan’s girlfriend, but in general Conversations with the Dead improves on the opener through being
The Black Windmill (1974) Michael Caine has made so many spy movies, a few are bound to have fallen through the cracks. It’s especially a shame that The Black Windmill, with its proto-Ransom/ Taken premise and a fine director in Don Siegel, fresh from career renaissance maker Dirty Harry and follow-up Charley Varrick, doesn’t quite live up to the talent involved. Still, neither does it deserve it’s all-but-forgotten status. Caine’s Major John Tarrant is on the trail of an international arms syndicate/sabotage ring, so they only go and kidnap his son and demand a ransom (£517k in uncut diamonds; about £6m in today’s money,
The Man from U.N.C.L.E. (2015) Guy Ritchie would evidently have liked to make a Bond film as much as his former producer Matthew Vaughn, and either would undoubtedly add more spark to the franchise than current darling Sam Mendes (lush cinematography or no lush cinematography). While Vaughn brokered his fandom into a patchy but violent and vibrant original earlier this year (Kingsman: The Secret Service) and won considerable box office as a result, Ritchie picked up Steven Soderbergh’s discarded menu items and went with refashioning an existing property, one he had no yearning interest in. Sometimes that shows in the result,
Mission: Impossible – Rogue Nation (2015) There’s a groundswell of opinion that Mission: Impossible – Rogue Nation is the best in near twenty-year movie franchise. I’m not sure I’d go quite that far, but only because this latest instalment and its two predecessors have maintained such a consistently high standard it’s difficult to pick between them. III featured a superior villain and an emotional through line with real stakes. Ghost Protocol dazzled with its giddily constructed set pieces and pacing. Christopher McQuarrie’s fifth entry has the virtue of a very solid script, one that expertly navigates the kind of twists and intrigue one expects from
The Avengers 2.1: Mission to Montreal The first episode of Season Two is a stodgy affair, notable mainly for one of three appearances by Dr Keel-a-like Dr Martin King (utilising scripts written for Keel in the first series, before it was known Ian Hendry would not be returning). In Keel’s absence, Steed becomes the welcome lead, but you wouldn’t know it here aside from his handling the concluding fisticuffs. Mission to Montreal finds King (Jon Rollason essaying another healthy-smoking medical practitioner) and Steed engaged in a bog standard “secure the stolen microfilm” case, the only distinguishing aspects being its
Spooks: The Greater Good (2015) The last time I watched Spooks (or MI-5, as it is known in many countries) can have been no more recently than 2007, as Rupert Penry-Whatshishyphenate was still starring, and he got blown up soon after (as is won’t to happen in their risk-friendly business). As the series carried on until 2010, and I only sporadically watched it before that, you could conclusively say I was only ever the most casual of viewers. It was okay, very much what you might expect of a BBC with one eye on the US (and the success of 24), having lost
3 Days to Kill (2014) Costner riding the crest of… well, being sucked up by a twister in Man of Steel, I guess, ploughs his comeback trail by going all Liam Neeson on the arses of various Eurotrash types. Luc Besson’s formula cheapie action vehicles have scored one great success (Taken) and one moderate one (Transporter). 3 Days to Kill won’t be following them into franchise territory, but it’s actually a lot of fun. McG, asking for trouble by saddling himself with a nickname, was even less appreciated by the dubious after he decided to take on the Terminator franchise. I don’t especially mind
The Avengers 1.1: Hot Snow The first twenty minutes of The Avengers do not make for the most auspicious debut. It’s so far from the camper fantasy trappings of the show’s colour era, it may as well be a different programme. That’s not really the problem. Well, the problem is chiefly that there isn’t a whole episode by which to judge Hot Snow. But it’s also that this could be any old detective fiction yarn. There’s very little to mark out what we see here as unique. Certainly nothing as arresting as the high strangeness of the first episode of Doctor Who, or the
A Most Wanted Man (2014) Philip Seymour Hoffman doesn’t disappoint in his final lead role. Imagine Columbo as an overweight (sort of) German, with the cadence of Anthony Hopkins and a voice like a human ashtray, and you might get close to Hoffman’s impeccable performance. He’s by far the best thing about Anton Corbijn’s handsome but staid adaptation of John Le Carré’s 2008 novel of the same name. This is latter-day Le Carré, and, shorn of a Cold War milieu, his tales don’t seem to be quite as intricate or necessary. Perhaps it’s the lack of first-hand knowledge, but
Kingsman: The Secret Service (2014) Kingsman: The Secret Service, Matthew Vaughn’s latest attempt to go his own way, has flashes of greatness. As a director, he has honed his technique to the point where his action set pieces are peerless. Unfortunately, his continued affiliation with comic book writer Mark Millar (of Kick-Ass, and Vaughn’s superior adaptation) appeals to his worst instincts. Kingsman, the comic, which Vaughn suggested to Millar, has been bashed out of recognition by Vaughn and regular collaborator Mrs Jonathan Ross Jane Goldman, but it remains essentially puerile. As such, Kingsman is fitfully quite superlative entertainment, the kind of moviemaking that
The Prisoner 17. Fall Out We want information. Six is lead to a cavern beneath the Village, in which the President presides over a masked committee. Six is applauded for having passed the ultimate test; he is no longer to be known by a number. Six is enthroned and observes the trial of two lesser rebels; Number 48, the embodiment of motiveless youth, and Number Two, who has been resurrected following his demise. Both are convicted. Six is contrastingly venerated and asked to lead the Village. However, when he is asked to address his audience, his every word is
The Prisoner 16. Once Upon a Time We want information. Number Two is pressed back into service in order to find out the reasons for Six’s resignation. He demands to do things his way, which requires enacting the treatment known as Degree Absolute. This comprises a weeklong psychological test in which the patient and therapist are pitted against each other. Only one may emerge intact. A regressed Six is taken through various stages in his life, from childhood onwards, by Two, who takes the role of law and authority in every case. Six eventually turns the tables on Two,
The Prisoner 15. The Girl Who Was Death We want information. Colonel Hawke-English, batting at a cricket match, is killed when he hits an exploding ball, done in by a mysterious woman dressed all in white. Six is assigned to the case, involving a plan by Professor Schnipps to destroy London with a rocket. Six replaces the colonel on the field and foils an identical attempt on his own life. He follows clues that lead him to his local pub, where the woman poisons his pint. Six improvises an antidote by imbibing a series of tipples that make him sick.
Jack Ryan: Shadow Recruit (2014) The mealy-mouthed title speaks volumes about the uncertainty with which Tom Clancy’s best-known character has been rebooted. Paramount has a franchise that has made a lot of money, based on a deeply conservative, bookish CIA analyst (well, he starts out that way). How do you reconfigure him for a 21st century world (even though he already has been, back in 2003) where everything he stands for is pretty much a dirty word? The answer, it seems, is to go for an all-purpose sub-James Bond plan to bring American to its knees, with Ryan as a
The Prisoner 14. Living in Harmony We want information. A sheriff (known as the Stranger; Number Six) resigns, is attacked, and dragged to the Wild West town of Harmony. There, he meets the town mayor, the Judge. After refusing to assume the mantel of town lawman, the Stranger is taken into protective custody as refuge from an angry mob of townsfolk. In the jail, he is guarded by a silent psychopath gunslinger, The Kid. The Judge accedes to the replacement of the Stranger with another prisoner, who is lynched to appease the crowd. He was the brother of Kathy,
The Prisoner 13. Do Not Forsake Me Oh My Darling We want information. In an effort to locate Professor Seltzman, a scientist who has perfected a means of transferring one person’s mind to another person’s body, Number Two has Number Six’s mind installed in the body of the Colonel (a loyal servant of the Powers that Be). Six was the last person to have contact with Seltzman and, if he is to stand any chance of being returned to his own body, he must find him (the Village possesses only the means to make the switch, they cannot reverse
The Prisoner 10. Hammer into Anvil We want information. When Number Two pushes Number 73 into committing suicide, Number Six vows that he will pay for what he has done. Six is summoned to an audience with Two where the latter tells Six he is the anvil to Two’s hammer. But Six observes a phone call in which Two is under pressures from his superiors and sees a way to use this against him. Six embarks on a plan of undermining Two through suggesting there is a plot against him, with Six as a spy reporting on Two’s performance.
Ice Station Zebra (1968) The fourth big screen adaptation of an Alistair MacLean novel, Ice Station Zebra was released in the same year as the more successful Where Eagles Dare. 1968 represents probably the high-water mark for interpretations of the author’s work, although The Guns of Navarone remains the biggest hit. As with most movie versions of MacLean novels (or, let’s face it, movie versions of anybody’s novels) fans of the book find much to gripe about; the latter half diverges greatly from the page. Those who complain about the languid pace are onto something too. To be sure, there’s an array of valid
The Prisoner 9. Checkmate We want information. Six takes the role of the Queen’s pawn in a game of chess with human pieces. He is intrigued when a rogue Rook, who moves across the board without orders, is taken away for rehabilitation treatment. The Man with the Stick, controller of the chess game, furnishes Six with the means to tell the Village’s prisoners from its guardians. Six uses this method to win the support of the Rook. Together they assemble a team of fellow prisoners with the intention of mounting an escape bid. Meanwhile, the Queen has been hypnotised
Enemy of the State (1998) Enemy of the State is something of an anomaly; a quality conspiracy thriller borne not from any distinct political sensibility on the part of its makers but simple commercial instincts. Of course, the genre has proved highly successful over the years so it’s easy to see why big-name producers like Jerry Bruckheimer and Don Simpson would have chased that particular gravy boat. Yet they did so for some time without success; by the time the movie was made, Simpson had passed away and Bruckheimer was flying solo. It might be the only major film in
The Prisoner 7. Many Happy Returns We want information. Number Six awakes in a deserted Village. Fashioning a raft, he sets out to sea. After several weeks of sailing, Six encounters some gunrunners. He overpowers them but when they break free, Six flees their vessel and washes up on a beach. He encounters some gypsies and, despite the fact that they don’t speak English, it soon becomes clear that he is in Britain. Avoiding a police roadblock, he climbs in the back of a truck and eventually arrives in London. Returning to his house, he finds that it is
The Quiller Memorandum (1966) The pedigree of this Harry Palmer era spy movie might lead you to expect great things. Harold Pinter on scripting duties, Ipcress File (and Bond) composer John Barry furnishing the score, future George Smiley Alec Guinness in the not un-Smiley like controller role of Pol. Unfortunately, the enterprise is fundamentally flawed; this is a spook picture with no intrigue and one (mostly) shorn of suspense. The chief culprit is a script that replaces detective work with randomly bumping into the villains. But Michael Anderson must also take some of the blame. The man who called the shots on Around
The Prisoner 4. Free for All We want information. Number Two persuades Number Six to run in the Village elections. Six is to be assisted by Number 58 (who speaks no English). He accuses the town council of mindless complicity and as is consequently forced to undergo the Truth Test. When he emerges, he begins to crack and mounts an escape bid. Following a stint in the hospital he begins running an effective campaign. Despondent again, he is led to a bar in a cave that serves real booze, where Number Two is having a tipple. Six is drugged again and
The Prisoner 3. A. B. and C. We want information. An under-pressure Number Two orders Number Fourteen to test an experimental drug on Number Six in an attempt to extract the reason or his resignation. Two is convinced that Six was planning to sell out, and has narrowed the suspected parties down to three; “A”, “B’ and “C”. In an induced dream state, Six encounters each in turn at an extravagant party. But Six becomes increasingly aware of the artifice and manipulates the third dream to introduce “D”, revealed as Two himself. The reasons for Six’s resignation remain unrevealed,
The Prisoner 2. The Chimes of Big Ben We want information. Number Six agrees to collaborate; if Number Two agrees to halt the interrogation of new arrival Number Eight. Six enters the Village Arts and Crafts Competition, but this is a cover for an escape bid he is planning with Eight. Six’s art doubles as a sailing boat, and he and Eight travel to London. Meeting with his bosses, Six is on the verge of discussing his resignation, but realises he is still in the Village when the chimes of Big Ben match the time on his watch; there
The Whistle Blower (1987) The appearance of Michael Caine’s name in a film’s billing has never been an indication of quality. He’s always been known for somewhat arbitrary tastes, and it’s only really since his second Oscar that there has been an upswing from the fifty-fifty chance that he’d appear in something decent. Much of that is down to Christopher Nolan, who positions him in each new film as a lucky charm. Appreciation of the actor was probably at a low point for much of the ’80s. He received (justified) plaudits for Educating Rita and Hannah and Her Sisters (and his first Oscar
The Prisoner 1. Arrival Where am I? Much has been written of The Prisoner over the years. Perhaps even more than comparable cult series, it’s very finite duration has encouraged fans to pore over its every nuance and quirk. I have to admit that, whilst I’d count it among my television favourites, I have tended to resist over-analysing the series or any impulses to weave together its disparate threads into a text providing clarity and definition. I don’t much care whether Number Six is really John Drake, why he resigned (it’s pretty much the series’ MacGuffin; unimportant except in that it
The Bourne Legacy (2012) This might be a case of going in to the cinema with low expectations and having them exceeded, but I enjoyed this cash-grab attempt to continue the Bourne brand far more than I expected. Mainly because it’s not obsessed with being an identikit copy of its predecessors. Indeed, the film is at its least interesting when the extended vehicular chase climax kicks in and the shaky cam takes over. I don’t know what the reaction to the first hour of this has been generally, but I doubt that anyone expecting a wall-to-wall thrill ride will be happy.
Notorious (1946) This is one of the very best Hitchcock films, thanks to the alchemy of a fine script from Ben Hecht (who had just worked with the director on the less enchanting Spellbound) and perfect casting in Cary Grant and Ingrid Bergman. It could so easily have been less auspicious as it was developed by David O. Selznick, whose approach had been one of interference on his previous collaborations with the British auteur. Fortunately, the producer was in financial difficulties with Duel in the Sun so to ensure that project’s safety he sold the package of the Notorious script, director and Bergman to RKO.
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